54466

Joke of the Day

"Candidate, with lisp, interviews for executive position at Citibank Interviewers: ""Alan, where do you see yourself ten years from now?"" Alan: ""Running shitty bank."""

"Twitter is over Capacity! Well, so's my liver but you don't see me slowing down because of it."

"What do you call a fat female host of a talk radio show about fishing? A broadcasting broad casting broad."

"I want to give my ex a great Valentines present to show him how much I still care. I think I'll go all out and buy him a Toyota."

"The most terrifying thing a woman can say to me is ""notice anything different?"""

"Why do Germans make such good cars? To try and make up for the Holocaust."

"Which Jedi can save PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi"

"Him: Come check out my church! Me: Him: They play rock music! Me: Him: It's cool! Me: Does it have church in it? Him: Yes... Me: *click*"

"What did German kids get for Christmas during th holocaust? Easy Bake Ovens"

"I was banging my neighbors wife, doggy style, when her husband came home... She said, ""OH MY GOD, use the BACKDOOR!!"" I should've left at that point, but you don't get an offer like that every day..."