54233

Joke of the Day

"Crap happens Called in sick to work cause I had a stomach ache and felt constipated. Got fired. Couldn't give a crap even if I wanted to."

"Boss left his email open. Me: *looks around, send email to district manager ""i love you"" Now we wait"

"A Buddhist monk was on the streets of New York and he stopped at a hotdog stand. The vendor asks, ""what would you like on it?"" to which he replied,""Make me one with everything""."

"What is a Mexicans closing sales pitch? Kay-so-deal-a?"

"upon my death: 1. tell my kids I loved them 2. give my daughter my jewelry 3. leave french fries in my coffin, just in case"

"Batman: Introducing, the Robinmobile. Robin: I'm so excited! *curtain opens* Robin: Bruce, that's a car bed... Batman: You're welcome."

"Doctor Doctor I feel like a racehorse. Take one of these every 4 laps !"

"ME: Then the robber came thru the door holding a gun COP: Was it a revolver? ME [thinks] No he just pushed it open & walked thru like normal"

"How are puppet shows and politics similar? They are both a bunch of silly characters yapping at each other with someone else's hands up their asses."

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Probably one, but I can easily pay two to get the job done together at the same price I'd pay any other repair man."