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Joke of the Day

"I wish I was in better shape but I also wish I could fast-forward this pizza tracker."

"wut equasion do u use when u wanna kno tha prbility that u & ur girl are gonna b 2gether 4ever? bae's theorem"

"What's the difference between Donald Trump and /r/Jokes? Nothing. They both manage to stay popular despite a whole load of crap."

"How do you make a venetian blind? Poke his eyes out Credits go to my 90 year old grandfather, currently completing his PhD"

"What is the difference between a banjo and a trampoline? You don't have to take your shoes off to jump on a banjo."

"1 in 5 American children are now on food stamps which is why we must cut food stamps to reduce their dependency on food."

"difference between laugh and sex Teacher: what's the opposite of laughing? Kid: Sex Teacher: How dare you! And why is that? Kid: Because, laughing haha and sex is ahah"

"I hate it when people tell me I don't need alcohol to have fun. You don't need shoes to run, but it fucking helps."

"When you're done reading this joke please don't show it to any virgins. They won't get it for a long time."

"lf you can only be good at one thing, be good at cheating....because if you're good at cheating, you're good at everything."