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Joke of the Day

"I wish I was in better shape but I also wish I could fast-forward this pizza tracker."

"I like my coffee just like I like my slaves... Free"

"The cashier wasn't impressed with my top hat, sash, and monocle until I said ""Keep the change"" from the $1 I gave him for my $0.95 purchase."

"Would you like to buy a second-hand computer? I'm afraid not. I'm only able to type with one hand as it is."

"Philosophers have really good depth perception!"

"Click here for spoilers Microorganisms Humidity Light Heat"

"A report found 9 out of 10 bishops write with a fountain pen. Only God knows what the other one does with it."

"What has four wheels and flies ? A rubbish bin !"

"I used to hate the square root of -1 but then I realized I was just imagining things."

"A boy walks into a butchers and asks for a pound of kidelies Do you mean kidneys? asks the butcher. boy: I said that didelie?"