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Joke of the Day

"Pee your name in the snow and you'll quickly understand why they teach cursive in our schools."

"Here's a bit of advice. Advi"

"What do you call a fat psychic? ...a four chin teller"

"Have you seen the new clear plastic bikinis? They're worth looking into."

"Your Momma is so fat... ... when she wears a Malcolm X jacket helicopters try to land on her back."

"Elliott Smith... Wouldn't know heartache if it stabbed him in the chest."

"So I dragged off this girl from the bar the other night... She had this cool tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh. Damnedest thing, though! When I put my ear to it, I could smell the ocean."

"America is there land of opportunity, where if you work hard enough, you can make the business owners rich."

"i once had a beautiful wife, she was always the prettiest when she was asleep. Unfortunately she died after i gave her too many sleeping pills."

"What do an alcoholic and a necrophiliac have in common? They both feel like fucking death in the morning."