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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a Scotsman who works in a cloakroom? Angus McCoatup"
Next Joke
"No self-respecting murderer is going to have the patience to stand there for the twenty or thirty hours it'll take me to dig my own grave."
"Why aren't there any jokes about Jonestown? The punchline was too long"
"""And this is my creepy husband, John."" (The way my friend should introduce her husband)"
"Too soon for a knock knock joke? ""Knock knock"" ""Who's there?"" ""The pilot, let me in!!!"""
"Did you hear about the new Playboy magazine for married men? Every month it has the same centerfold."
"Those who carry teensy cute purses shouldn't throw stones at those who wear cargo shorts, because I can carry more stones."
"Did you hear about the cannibal in the colosseum? He was gladiator."
"*Tries to warm up car* Car: I have a boyfriend"
"The first Hobbit movie was half the book. The second, about a quarter. In the sixth instalment, the group has a 3 hour breakfast and a nap."