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Joke of the Day

"If ""wings"" mean ""diabetes"" then yes, Red Bull gave me that."

"I broke up with my gym. We were just not working out."

"Justin Bieber? Why would someone call their daughter Justin?"

"What's the difference between an airplane and an abortion? Only one doesn't fly after coming into contact with a hanger"

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? ""How long have you been having this phantasy?"""

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten."

"I once stayed up all night trying to figure out where the sun went Then it dawned on me."

"How do we know Floyd Mayweather isn't a bomb? Because he can't tell the time."

"I stole a friend's phone today and set it so it will autocorrect ""I've"" to ""me've"" and me'm really excited about it."

"They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away... Steve Jobs proved this one wrong."