53873

Joke of the Day

"Im sat here looking at my glass half empty..... Everyone is telling me that I should look at my glass half full, but i just want to know, WHO THE FUCK DRANK MY DRINK"

"Why did the TV execs decide not to create a new reality show about philosophers? Because it would only be for a Neitzsche audience"

"Damn girl, is it just me, Or did I just damn you to hell for the sake of pick up line?"

"Full Disclosure: I get most of my jokes from a 13 year old Amish kid named Caleb."

"tip of the day - dont swollow ur spit for like 20 minuts and then u will have a warm drink"

"If I had a time machine, I'd go back in time to just before a famous person was supposed to be assassinated and borrow money from them."

"What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator? My refrigerator doesn't fart when I pull my meat out of it."

"HO_SE BOAT I'd like to solve the puzzle Pat, Horse Boat"

"I just learned you need five sheep to make a sweater. I didn't know they knew how to knit."

"A Baby Whale asks his father where he came from... His father says, ""My penis, son."" ""Oh, thanks Dad"" ""You're Whalecum"""