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Joke of the Day

"Leonardo DiCaprio, Ellen Page set to star in a sci-fi adaptation of Colin Kaepernick's career. *Interception*"

"One of my patients took me to Sioux City Now Iowa defense attorney a lot of money."

"A Muslim walks into the U.S Just kidding"

"You can tell Monopoly is an old game; Rich people can go to jail."

"My stapler is pretty terrible at holding these pages together... ...thank goodness for staples, huh!?"

"GF Trying to Find a 32 Bit version of MS Office. ""WTF, there is no 32 bit version. They are all 64 bit or x86."""

"Cop: Know why I stopped you? Me: Cuz you SMELLED THIS DONUT? *tosses donut out window* Cop: ... Me: Aren't you gonna go get- Cop: Get out."

"Why do people at home on TV have their pants on?"

"What was shaken and is now stirred? Haiti."

"""We have to get together sometime!"" is a great way of saying, ""I regret running into you."""