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Joke of the Day

"Leonardo DiCaprio, Ellen Page set to star in a sci-fi adaptation of Colin Kaepernick's career. *Interception*"

"I just killed a pizza boy and now I have to kill another one It's the domino effect"

"Grandpa walks into a drug store Grandpa: ""I'd like to buy 99 condoms."" Clerk: ""Why don't you take 100?"" Grandpa: ""Hey, hey! I'm not a rapist!"""

"I was once told ""There is great strength in numbers""... Someone once told me ""There is great safety in numbers""; I could only think, ""Now go tell that to six million jews""..."

"Still laughing about that time my grandmother said God told her to put my grandfather in an asylum because he was hearing voices in his head"

"A Roman walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers and says, ""five beers, please."""

"Mustaches are the eyebrows of the lower face lol. Now that I have your attention, climate change is a real problem whether we see it or not."

"I fell asleep & my cat ate the crackers I left on the table. To teach him a lesson, I ate all his Friskies while he's sleeping on the couch."

"Cross-Eyed Monster: When I grow up I want to be a bus driver. Witch: Well I won't stand in your way."

"If sex were fast food, you'd have and M-shaped arch over your head."