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Joke of the Day

"Leonardo DiCaprio, Ellen Page set to star in a sci-fi adaptation of Colin Kaepernick's career. *Interception*"

"What asks no question but demands an answer? A doorbell or a ringing telephone."

"A man died in a grain silo... He ran himself to death, trying to find a corner to pee in."

"Tried to change my password to Twilight... ...but got an error message saying please re-enter as this contains too many useless characters :("

"After hearing a lot of Oscar Pistorius jokes I find them disgusting. Frankly I won't stand for them and neither will he."

"Your Mom is so old... She had to use her own face for emoticons."

"I told my parents to vote for Trump... So I wouldn't have to take Spanish in high school"

"Are you a black hole? Because when I see you my legs get all *spaghettified*. *Courtesy of my friend*"

"While they're a lot of fun on Halloween, did you know most jack-o'-lanterns end up at the pound? Please. Next year, carve a puppy."

"Why can't you keep a secret in a cornfield? There's too many ears"