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Joke of the Day
"I call my girlfriend Dumbledore. She's a head master."
Next Joke
"Guy: Wanna go out? Girl: I have a boyfriend. Guy: It's just like soccer, just because theres a goalie doesnt mean you cant score."
"How do we create jobs? I thought he was already dead"
"Two Whales are Sitting at a Bar One whale looks over to the other and says ""Eeeeeeeeeeeoooooooooouuuuuuu"" and the other whale looks at him and says, ""Man you're really fucked up"""
"My ten year old made me pay him $10 to do the dishes, so I mugged him on his way to the bathroom because, you know, life lesson."
"[heaven] IAN: I only regret the things I didn't do ME: Me too I: Like, I didn't swim with dolphins. You? M: I didn't stop poking a bear"
"Ladies, if your man says he'll fix it, he will. There's no reason to remind him every 6 months."
"Why cant stormtroopers be fathers? Because they shoot blank and always miss Edit: Can't*"
"What do you call a german that does the exact opposite of what he says to do? A hypokrout."
"How often do you guys close your internet tabs? One of mine is from the Kerry/Edwards campaign."