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Joke of the Day

"Ruffled feathers ahead. What do you call a woman that is never late, can actually drive a car and doesn't need help killing spiders? Bruce Jenner."

"What did the curtain rod say to the blinds? Nice shades. (sorry)"

"My gf said she is going to leave me because of my obsession with the monkeys... I didn't believe her at first, But then i saw her face and now im a believer."

"Did you hear about the man who bought a bucket load of Tipp-ex last week? Big mistake."

"I remember being about 10 years old & seeing a homeless guy with a dog & I just looked at them both & mumbled, ""Lucky."""

"Did you hear about the wrestler who was beaten by a vampire? He was down for the count"

"I didn't think housework is a full-time job, so for Thanksgiving my wife served me a raw turkey. Revenge is a dish best served cold."

"What do you do when your wife starts smoking? Slow down and apply lube"

"[Watching babies first steps] *turns to wife* Has he been drinking?"

"What did the horse say when he fell down? I've fallen and I can't giddyup."