5536

Joke of the Day

"The symptoms of Ebola... ... are sweating, weakness, diarrhoea & stomach pains. The exact same kind of feeling that a husband gets when he sees his wife going through his phone and messages .."

"What should you use to make a boat explode? A weapon of mast destruction."

"Everyone said I should get a kid I really don't see what all the fuss is about. All mine does is ask 'How long until I can see my parents again?'"

"When I see guys with skinny jeans and skin tight T's on I pretend they are actual giants who woke up tiny and just had nothing else to wear."

"Anyone who's voice doesn't jump a few octaves when talking to a puppy probably kills people for a living"

"What pillar doesn't need holding up ? A caterpillar !"

"How do you make estrogen? Don't pay her."

"What do you call a redneck virgin? A 13 year old girl who runs faster than her older brothers"

"The worst number in the world. 6.9 it's 69 interrupted by a period"

"Husband asked his wife ""why don't you tell me when you orgasm?"" She replied ""because I don't like calling you at work."""