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Joke of the Day

"What part of the house does a ghost not use? The living room"

"When asked about whether or not Arnold Schwarzenegger upgraded to Windows 10... ...He replied ""I still love Vista, baby"""

"My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head."

"When you find it hard to keep a girl, find a girl that keeps it hard."

"Did you know that Polish aircraft do not have seats on the right side of airplane? Because poles in the right hand plane are unstable."

"What's the difference between chemistry and cooking? In chemistry, you should never lick the spoon."

"I got into an argument with my friend and he said, ""Yeah, well my dad can beat up your dad!"" I'm sick of these dad hominem attacks."

"So I've been hearing a lot about this Baader-Meinhof phenomenon recently [baader-meinhof phenomenon](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baader-Meinhof_phenomenon#Frequency_illusion)"

"To trick people into thinking I understand things at a museum I stand in front of every painting and silently count to twenty."

"What's the difference between a Baptist and a Methodist? A Methodist will say hi when he sees you at the liquor store."