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Joke of the Day

"Waiter: And what would the lady like? Me: Waiter: Me: Waiter: Me: Date: Gigi, he means you. Me: *blushing* Oh, wow. He called me a lady."

"after every snowstorm, animals must spend a few brief moments wonderimg if nature has claimed back the world and the humans have finaly gone"

"EMT: [opens my shirt revealing bread covering my nipples] You faked cardiac arrest for this? Me: Just say clear and make my grilled cheese."

"The President of the United States, the Prime Minister of England, and the King of Thailand walk into a bar in Bangkok and the bartender says ""May I get you and your guests drinks, Your Majesty?"""

"isnt it cool how we all accepted that we all know the names of streaming porn sites and didnt ask each other how we knew of them"

"How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? One, you racist!"

"I want a name that can only be written using straight lines, so I'll be changing my name to Wilx Kivz."

"Why didn't Ken ever get Barbie pregnant? because he always came in another box."

"Who's faster than Christopher Walken? Christopher Runnen Who's slower? Christopher Crawlen"

"Horrible Dubstep Joke Why couldn't the Dubstep artist be a chemist? He couldn't stop dropping the base!"