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Joke of the Day

"If you watch cinderella backwards its about a woman getting put in her place."

"wife: Can't we just buy a bigger catflap? me: [buttering the cat] We're not made of money, Karen"

"What do you call Dracula's retarded cousin? Countdown This was a joke I heard on TV some time ago ... Thought it was worth a share."

"Never take ecstasy with a squirrel named... hey, squirrel dude, what's your name? Charles? Never take ecstasy with a squirrel named Charles."

"The Fountain of Youth has been discovered but it's in Flint, MI, so I wouldn't drink from it."

"Why does Josh Brown beat his wife? Just for kicks"

"When you were in the gang then, you just had to look cool, just walk around and look like you were tough. Someone started talking about fighting 'No, man, I've got to go home.'"

"What does the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common? They both glide around Uranus and wipe out Klingons!"

"i was about to smoke a joint in the park but then i saw a sign that said ""keep off the grass"" and felt judged."

"Patient asks his doctor... A patient asks his doctor, ""If I gave up women, wine, and song, would I live longer?"" The doctor replies, ""No, but it will feel longer."""