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Joke of the Day

"Why did the popular kittens not want to hang out with the kitten with a prosthesis? [OC] It was an obvious faux paw. ^Credit: ^My ^wife's ^a ^dork."

"Last night... ...as I was lying in bed, I looked up at the beautiful night sky, the beautiful moon, and the beautiful stars. Then I wondered: where the fuck is my roof?"

"So I was told that torture is 100% effective. They finally admitted to it after 5 hours of waterboarding. I still don't know why they kept lying before it though."

"People are always asking me why I named my pet newt 'Tiny' It's because he's my newt. ^minute ^^means ^^^small"

"What does a girls asshole and a 9v battery have in common? You know it's wrong but eventually you stick your tongue to it."

"Probably should not have driven home from the bar last night.. especially considering I walked there."

"My Czech mate is surprisingly bad at chess"

"What do you call an ant with five pairs of eyes ? Antteneye !"

"My friend is convinced he has the biggest balls in the world He's so egotestical."

"What's a mexicans favorite game? Cross country."