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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear that the BBC have sacked Bob the Builder? They feel they can no longer trust a children's TV star who claims to be able to 'fix it'"

"I just became a proud dad today... My son is actually four but he was a boring little cunt for the first three years."

"Childhood obesity is on the rise and so is underage sex.. What I want to know is who's fucking all these fat kids."

"My girlfriend said she wants me to make her feel like shes the only girl in the world. So i'm gonna drop her off in the desert and leave"

"I walked by a girl the other day who I swore had twelve nipples Sounds weird, dozen tit?"

"All the good ones are taken. All the funny ones are fat. All the smart ones are ugly. All the ones with all of the above are fictional."

"If Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton were in a car accident, who would survive? America."

"My essay for graduate school reeks of bullshit and broken dreams disguised as lessons learned."

"What did the jew post to the nazi subreddit? r/roastme"

"By the time you learn the rules of life, you're too old to play the game."