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Joke of the Day

"So a bum asked me for same change... A homeless man asked me for some change today. I said to him, ""Sorry, pal. You should know better than me that no one in this place has got _innocence_."""

"Don't be afraid to be open-minded. Your brain isn't going to fall out."

"What kind of doctor deals with pussies? A whinecologist."

"How do you know if a black woman is pregnant? Stick a banana up her cooter, if it comes out half eaten, you've got a monkey on the way!"

"What do you call to a dog with no legs ? NOTHING because dog isn't going to come anyways :P"

"What do you call a cannibal who eats quadriplegics? Vegetarians."

"What do you get if you have strep throat on Friday? Saturday Night Fever."

"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. The question is how they got in there."

"A bank is a place that will lend you money.... if you can prove that you don't need it."

"What does Morpheus seek for paper cuts? Neosporin."