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Joke of the Day

"What do you call memories of zombies? FLESHBACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"The Largest Organ **Q:** What's the largest organ in the human body? **A:** That depends. If you've just swallowed a Steinway and a Wurlitzer, it's probably the Steinway."

"A man walks into a psychiatrist's office completely nude, and so the psychiatrist says to the man, ""sir I can clearly see your nuts."""

"Homeless man asked me if I could 'spare some change'. I told him 'change comes from within'. Long story short, I'm missing a kidney."

"i gave my girlfreind my nine inch nail... and we got closer."

"Why is North Korea so lame? It's got no Seoul."

"Things I constantly worry about pressing: 1. ""Like"" while ex stalking 2. Send all drafts 3. A baby's soft spot Yes, this list is in order."

"[Date] Her: *giggles* whoops you got a hair right there Me (nervous she's trying to clone me): give it back"

"are you a broken air freshener Because you aren't making any scents"

"The scariest punchline to a long-running joke: ""Welcome to the Oval Office, President Trump!"""