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Joke of the Day

"Never trust couscous. It's just fat sand."

"Australia wants to secede from the Commonwealth to distance itself from the British Monarchy... It will no longer be a kingdom and it can't be a principality, so it has to be a country."

"Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? he's 0k now."

"Where does a toilet keep his secrets? In his diarrhea."

"I'm taking a course where we learn about crackpots. It's called Psychoceramics."

"Smokey The Bear is the narc version of Yogi Bear."

"My grandpa was one of the Holocaust survivors... But then again, most guards survived."

"What's the only thing that grows in Oakland? A: The Crime Rate!"

"Why are Ford cars so popular? Because they are affordable."

"The ex wife once told me her greatest fantasy was kneeling in front of me while I spurted all over her. She never mentioned it was my blood."