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Joke of the Day

"What's the only thing that grows in Oakland? A: The Crime Rate!"

"Bishop to the Pope: Congratulations on your name's day Your Holiness! - Pope: But today we do not commemorate the name of Benedict? - Bishop: It is the 16th, though."

"If you're not into barrier reefs you will HATE the Great Barrier Reef"

"WARNING: Objects in profile pics are not as pretty as they appear."

"I left my keys on my piano ...That's it."

"Judge: Your client says he's mentally fit to stand trial correct?Lawyer: Yes, your honor.Judge: Then can you tell him to get out of my seat?"

"*Morgan Freeman time travels back to 1810* Morgan Slaveman"

"- I'm your son's teacher and I'm calling to tell you that he may be a compulsive liar. - And a damn good one. I don't have any sons."

"*you see a bear approaching you* Quick play dead! *bears comes running up* Oh god! OH GOD! What's happening!? Wake up! WHO DID THIS TO YOU!?"

"Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one off"