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Joke of the Day

"Lawyer: why do you want a divorce? Wife: because he use idioms incorrectly. Me: it's not my cup of shoes, Linda!"

"what do you call 2 gay overweight physicists touching tips? A large Hardon collider"

"Did you hear about the the leper hockey game? There was a face off in the corner."

"A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3 He says, ""unos, dos..."" *poof* **...he disappeared without a tres.**"

"What happens when a magician gets mad? He rips out his hare!"

"My friend fell into a vat of chemicals. Ironically, it was his quick reaction that killed him."

"Why couldn't the BMW fit into a narrow parking stall at Target? because it was being driven by a woman"

"First Boy: Why is your brother always flying off the handle ? Second Boy: Because he's got a screw loose !"

"THIS IS A TEST OF THE EMERGENCY ALERT SYSTEM I'm out of beer."

"I ate peanut butter and got an allergic reaction. I got sued."