5260

Joke of the Day

"What did the Texas sheriff say about the black guy who was shot 15 times? ""Worse case of suicide I ever saw."""

"Why did the chicken get a Ouija Board? To contact those on the other side."

"The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong."

"What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a toddler? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window."

"I'm in the middle of inventing emo playing cards. You have to shuffle them, but afterwards the deck cuts itself."

"Edison didn't fail at making a lightbulb, he found 10,000 ways that don't work. Number 7,511 will shock you!"

"What's the difference between a blonde and a pair of sunglasses? The sunglasses sit higher on your face."

"Backseat drivers are the worst. They're always like ""the light is red!"" and ""don't text and drive!"" and ""oh god, I think that was a person!"""

"A guy walks into a bar holding a dog poop... he says ""hey guys, look what I almost stepped in"""

"Don't cry, that onion didn't deserve you anyways."