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Joke of the Day

"What did the clock say when he was finished having sex? The time has come."

"*brakes hard* *throws arm across passenger seat to protect pizza*"

"Did anyone else hear about the claustrophile? He just came out of the closet recently."

"I really hate working late. My ride turns into a pumpkin and I always end up losing a shoe."

"I just read an article about a man swept out to sea during a baptism. I guess that's God's Way of saying ""Nope""."

"Masturbation should be considered a craft... as it is 100% hand made."

"This morning I saw a lady scraping the ice off her wind shield with her credit card. ..She's not going to make any progress at that rate."

"WHEN DO WE STOP COUNTING BACKWARDS I'M AT LIKE NEGATIVE 42,360"

"What's the difference between old people and babies (offensive) Old people don't die if you fuck them in the ass."

"My favorite rapper is 50 cent Or as the British people now call him, 10,000 pounds."