52422

Joke of the Day

"Hub: Did you eat all the nachos? Me: Noooo. I had one nacho. Hub: because they were stuck together? Me: LIKE I SAID, ONE NACHO!"

"Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants? He heard the snow blower coming."

"When asked about hobbies, don't start lap dancing. #jobinterviewfail"

"What do rioting jewish people throw? Mazel tov cocktails"

"I thought my neighborhood had turned very pro-Trump... Turns out they just put out their jack-o-lanterns."

"1-year-old: *shrieks repeatedly* Me: Why is she so loud? Wife: That's how she talks. Apparently she speaks fluent pterodactyl."

"I just sneezed so violently, I think it qualifies as an ab workout. (Screw you, I'm counting it.)"

"One of my lamps has a light bulb which has outlasted my past 7 relationships."

"I hated facial hair at first, but then it grew on me!"

"Bring spoiled food to work enough and your coworkers eventually stop eating anything with your name on it."