52332

Joke of the Day

"What does the nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeno business."

"GPS: You're not really lost, you just want someone to talk to."

"I flunked out of clown college due to taking it too seriously."

"*bullies advance* STOP! Im a black belt in Shaq Fu! <laughter> *detectives arrive* Jesus, were these heads slam-dunked? Where r the bodies?"

"Anal, Something I'd get behind!"

"Take a day off. Pamper yourself. Visit a spa. Pour melted wax on ur body. Rip the hair out by the roots. Inject poison into ur face. Relax."

"When your kid makes a funny face, say they will stick that way, then show them the thousands of girls with duck lips on Instagram."

"Date me? You can't afford the maintenance to keep me. Vodka, high heels, steak, shiny clothes, tonic, Victoria's Secret, and bail money."

"What do you call a guy who plays Fallout? A Fall Out Boy."

"If it wasn't for rap I probably wouldn't know the area codes of most major metropolitan cities"