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Joke of the Day

"What does the nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeno business."

"Me: *falls off a ladder* Wife: OH MY GOD! ARE YOU INJURED? Me: *obviously concussed but also bleeding* I'm injured and outjured"

"My fake plant died Because I didn't pretend to water it."

"I had an appointment to get my gender reassignment surgery... ...but the doctor left me hangin'"

"If wishes were fishes... ...life would be pretty crappie"

"What does an elephant say, looking at a naked man ? You can't breathe from it"

"Why couldn't the Coast Guard save the hippie? Because he was wayyy far out man."

"If Edgar Allen Poe didn't have a cat named Poepurry, then I question him as a writer."

"If I had a dollar for every joke I've recycled I would have a lot since this is a popular style of joke"

"Me: Hello darkness, my old friend. Darkness: New phone, who dis?"