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Joke of the Day

"A German Dad Joke So, because St. Patrick's Day is tomorrow I asked my dad (who is German) if Germans have any day like St. Patrick's Day. His said, ""Yes, it's called October."""

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"clutches my newly bought loaf of bread nervously as i walk past the duck pond"
"What did Dr Frankenstein get when he put his goldfish's brain in the body of his dog? I don't know but it is great at chasing submarines."
"A wife asks her husband... ""do you piss in the shower?"" ""Of course"" he replies. ""that's disgusting"" she shrieks ""but honey, I always piss when I take a shit"""
"I'm always trying to make jokes at my work place... But in a graveyard, everyone is dead serious"
"Just turned wine into vomit. Your move Jesus."
"[Snail Court] Snail Lawyer: Permission to approach the bench, Your Honor? Snail Judge: I'm sorry; we don't have that kind of time."
"[walks in on someone watching Wheel Of Fortune] What's this, Wheel of Fortune?"
"Did you guys know the majority is always right? Except slavery"
"smokers have a greater risk of heart disease, stroke and hard-to-hear outdoor phone conversations."