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Joke of the Day

"Are you hot, dawg? Funniest dog joke I tell my pet beagle every hot afternoon. He laughs everytime."

"All my friends say that I'm a psychopath. That's not true, I don't have any friends."

"First Obama came for my guns. Then he came for my knives. Then he came for my dinette set. Then he redecorated the whole place. It's lovely."

"Hipsters only listen to songs like Surfin' Bird by the Trashmen You've probably never heard of it."

"What is Kanye West's favorite kind of omelette? Omelette you finish"

"I walked in on my Arab roommate He was having sex with his girlfriend from behind, while shaving with his left hand and all while having an argument. I said ""good thing you're not wearing ihram!"""

"Why was the lion a terrible cannibal? He couldn't swallow his pride."

"What do Australian terrorists say before attacking? Uluruakbar"

"Pornhub has banned submissions of the Germany-Brazil game. They don't allow rape videos."

"Back in my day when we found a Pokemon we had to beat it to death with a rotary phone"