52056

Joke of the Day

"My doctor told me to stop drinking today...then he told me to stop laughing."

"This guy says he rides a bike 20 miles a day, and then runs 5 miles a day too. Yo bro, you gotta get a car."

"When you go toe to toe with a Vietnamese Mexican... You either nguyen or you luz."

"I could never be an actress because I don't want kids and would never be able to say ""but my favorite role is being a mom"" at award shows."

"Do you know what the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean is? I wouldn't pay $100 to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"I was planning on taking my little girls to the start of summer village fair today, but its raining, windy and cold so we decided not to go. May weather won."

"Apparently Gary Glitter is applying for the Villa manager's job... after hearing the strikers were Bent, Young and possibly Keane"

"My goal is to one day make it through an entire p orn movie."

"I just watched two mice screwing in a lightbulb But for the life of me, I can't figure out how they got in there."

"Ive always hated math because, in my head, all the word problems sounded like this: The spaghetti envelopes are triangular. Find X."