51982

Joke of the Day

"Can I just drop it like it's lukewarm? It's been a long day and I'm tired."

"Why is it I barely have any signal in my house but the fucking Taliban can upload videos from a cave in Afghanistan??"

"My girlfriend said, ""We should make love like they do in the movies."" So I shoved my dick in her ass and came on her face. She got upset. Apparently we watch different movies."

"Q: What type of monster really loves dance music? A: The boogieman."

"why do queens play poker in the bathroom? so they'll always get a royal flush"

"The best thing about women is how they can tell you what you really mean when you say something..."

"What do you call a slice of bread from another country? An immigraint."

"As a kid I was frightened of the dentist... Because he was a Paedophile every time I went in he'd give me a filling"

"Yo mama so fat... her carbon footprint turned to diamond."

"You know your getting old when you drop something on the floor and instead picking it right back up, you just stare at it for a min or two..."