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Joke of the Day

"How do aliens stay warm? Space heater."

"What STD can you catch from Mayor McCheese? None, but you can get food poisoning."

"I made my money the old-fashioned way... I used a printing press"

"What do you call Asian quadruplets? 4chan"

"I've been known to give sage advice from time-to-time. Though I do get funny looks for talking to herbs."

"What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A Roman Catholic. (Sorry if this is a repost)"

"What did Bacon say to Tomato? Lettuce get together!"

"So I was thinking while taking the biggest dump of my life... and I just feel so empty inside."

"Confucius says... Confucius says: Learn to masturbate, come in handy."

"What do you call the cook on a Soviet battleship? The khrushchev"