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Joke of the Day

"I told my wife ..... I'm going to quit my job to become a stand up comedian, and she said, ""You can't be serious""!!!"

"Q: Dad why do the singers rock left and right while performing on stage? A: Because son it is more difficult to hit a moving target."

"What is Aloe Blacc's real name? Bye Bye White"

"College doesn't prepare you for holding in farts in the workplace."

"Hey, have you heard about.... A gladiator whose arms and legs been cut off in a fight? Well, I heard that he's been disarmed and defeated."

"I woke up went for a walk my head fell off and rolled away. I picked it up and put it on. A child walked up to me and said: ""Good grief where are your feet?"" I must have left them in bed !"

"If you cry every day in your relationship.. sit down, take a deep breath & ask yourself, ""Am I dating a Human or an Onion?"""

"I saw a kid pretending to be a dinosaur by himself today... He looks lonely so I decided to go and join him. After a while, his mother came by and told me off. Turns out he had Cerebral Palsy."

"What does a tweaker and a Jehovah's Witness have in common? Both ride bicycles and are on a mission."

"The lesbian vampire Did you hear about the bar-hopping, lesbian vampire? Once a month, she goes to gay bars and drinks everyone under the table."