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Joke of the Day

"The lesbian vampire Did you hear about the bar-hopping, lesbian vampire? Once a month, she goes to gay bars and drinks everyone under the table."

"Did you hear the one about Jonestown? I'd tell it to you, but the punch line's too long."

"Something only a guitarist can say I broke a g-string fingering A minor."

"Roses are red violets are take your clothes off"

"A spider crawled across my leg while I was driving and of course that fcuker survived the crash."

"Why did the Austrian woman go to see a psychologist. Because she wanted a penis."

"Maybe if I swallow enough magnets I'll become attractive."

"A Chess Shop A man walks into a chess shop, and going over to the small asian manager, he asks if he can purchase a piece. The manager says, ""Oh sure. Take a rook."""

"Q: Why does everyone love cats? - A: They're purr-fect!"

"Due to the prostitute's arm injury, she can do no more than 5 handjobs a night. Damn handie-cap!"