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Joke of the Day
"Yo mama is so fat that if she confronted a boggart it would morph into a treadmill."
Next Joke
"What does Nixon's Head use to thicken up etouffee? A roooooooux!"
"I just found out my father's sister doesn't like Jewish people. Its hard to believe I have a relative who is auntie semitic."
"Microsoft will start making ... vacuum cleaners. It will be the only thing they make that doesn't suck."
"Q: IS IT SEXUAL HARASMENT IF YOU GO TO A WOMAN AND TELL HER HER HAIR SMELLS NICE? A: WHAT IF THE MAN IS A DWARF?"
"The glass ceiling is dangerous. I can't believe they'd let a woman up there. (Credit to Raising Hope)"
"If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. There's nothing more endearing than happy people applauding themselves."
"You know you're too drunk to drive when you swerve to miss a tree then realise it was your air freshener."
"An old guy at the gym told me I looked like his late wife. I'm hoping he meant while she was alive."
"What do you call an immoral lesbian citizen of Rivendell who hosts a talk-variety show and lacks character? An elven degenerate."