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Joke of the Day

"What do Winnie the Pooh and Jack the Ripper have in common? The same middle name."

"My doctor said I have about a month left. So I stabbed him. The judge gave me ten to fifteen years. Crisis averted."

"Took a random unmarked pill I found on the floor because times are tough and no matter what happens it'll make for good tweets."

"How much cum does a gay guy have? A butt load."

"A dog peed on my bike today. Of course I did not put up with that. I peed all over it immediately."

"How do you make an elephant fly? First, you get a great big zipper..."

"I really want to get into BDSM I just need someone to show me the ropes"

"I was asked how I view lesbian relationships..."

"How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw bananas at her."

"What do spinach and anal sex have in common? The more they're forced on you as a child, the more you hate them as an adult!"