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Joke of the Day

"Have you heard about the new male contraceptive pill? You put it in your shoe, and it makes you limp."

"They planned the date when the Burj Khalifa would be finished in advance... They wanted to know when it'd be due by"

"Redneck joke If'n you and your wife get divorced, and still agree to be cousins, you might be a redneck."

"I could kill you with kindness, but shoving you into traffic just saves so much time."

"Ever accidentally throw something away and then later realize you actually needed it? I did this with my life."

"I don't believe in gender equality because there are just some things I'm not meant to do. Like be the sane one in a relationship."

"I just got scammed by a hacker from Cairo... I guess you could say I've been E-gipped."

"""I high fived a shark, and then we ate burritos."" - Martin Luther King Jr.'s other dream."

"What is black and white and red all over? A suicide note. Edit: I already feel horrible Edit 2: I left out a semicolon"

"What's the best remedy for a sex starved drug addict? A jack and coke."