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Joke of the Day

"What do you give a nine-hundred-pound gorilla for his birthday? I don't know but you'd better hope he likes it!"

"I just broke up with a hoarder... I'm the only thing she could get rid of"

"What do you call it when Kony drinks too much? Cognac"

"Why did the train sound effect album get derailed? The tracks were unfinished."

"A Jewish boy asks his father for one dollar... ...and his dad responds, ""Fifty cents? What do you need twenty-five cents for?"""

"Have you guys ever heard of the crazy Mexican Train Killer? He had...... Loco Motives"

"A comedian walks into a bar full of r/historians.. [deleted]"

"Anyone still keeping up with their New Year's resolutions? I am... Still 1080p"

"My wife said she expects the house to be clean by the time she walks in the door so I changed all of the locks."

"Bartender, I'd like you to bring that brunette at the end of the bar a slice of your finest ham."