51762

Joke of the Day

"What is Pink and lies on the doormat? Whitney Houston's Valentines Day Cards"

"Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle."

"Columbus: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Well Columbus: *just yanks me out of my car and drives off in it*"

"I put on my pants just like you, reluctantly, when the doorbell rings."

"I hate it when I open Twitter and miss a week of work."

"Play The Bee Gees loudly several times a day from your home so that if you have to kill someone the sounds won't be unusual."

"How long is a Chinaman? How long IS a chinaman"

"Why doesn't anyone get laid on Thanksgiving? All the coats are on the bed!"

"My girlfriend asked me how much we would spend at our wedding. Me: I don't want to spend very much. Her: I want it to be a ten thousand dollar wedding. Me: Okay, so you, can do that then."

"What do you do if a blonde person throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back."