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Joke of the Day

"Descartes walks into a bar... The bartender asked if he wanted a drink. Descartes said ""I think not!"" ....and promptly disappeared."

"""if inventimg a machine that alows man to soar through the air is wrong, i dont want to be Wright"" - Wright brother, invemtor of airplabe"

"A feminist is someone I could really get behind."

"I was having sex with a woman when her husband got home early She told me to use the back door and to be quick. I probably should have just left, but it's not every day you get an offer like that."

"When I post a joke... ...and no one rates, I just assume that they all died from laughter.!!"

"What is born skinless, flies wingless and sings until it dies? A fart. *dedicated to my dear departed Grandfather who told me this joke almost 40 years ago when I was a kid.*"

"*watching The Revenant* *rewind* *play* *rewind* *play* *rewind* *play* Him: What are you doing? Me: Taking notes for when I fight a bear."

"My productivity at work has gone down 43% since corporate bought me a swivel chair."

"Two nuns sitting in a car at lights... ... when Dracula jumps on the bonnet and roars an evil roar. ""Quick, show him your cross!"" ""Oi Dracula, get off my damn car!"""

"How are wearing Crocs like having butt sex with a guy? It feels really good until you look down and realize you're gay."