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Joke of the Day
"Knock Knock Who's there ! April ! April who ? April might make you feel better !"
Next Joke
"In every generation there's one man who stands up for the little guy: Bernie Sanders is that little guy."
"Gets pulled over. Cop: You know the left lane is just for passing. And you were driving in it for the past 3 miles without passing a single car. Me: Oh yeah I know, that's why we're passing the blunt."
"What is the difference between the US and yogurt? If you leave yogurt for 200 years it'll grow a culture."
"Why did the hipster burn its tongue? Beacuse he drank the coffee before it was Cool"
"Yay! my car has a parking sensor and I didn't know. When I reverse too far it makes a banging, crunching noise."
"Someone rang me up today and tried to sell me a coffin. I said that's the last thing I need."
"Me: how old is your daughter? Person: she's 31 months Me: ok but like how old in minutes?"
"How many mens' rights activists does out take to change a lightbulb? Well, not all of them."
"If pizza places cold called people's homes and asked if they wanted to order a pizza, I guarantee you their business would triple."