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Joke of the Day

"Man from Nantucket There once was a man from Nantucket, with a dick so long he could suck it. As he wiped off his chin he said with a grin, if my ear was a cunt I would fuck it."

"What's the difference between Donald Trump and a gynecologist? A gynecologist will shake a woman's hand before grabbing their pussy."

"""Is that a car alarm going off? Someone must be trying to steal it I better call the police!"" - literally no one ever"

"Did you see the 75th annual ninja parade in downtown Tokyo? Neither did anyone else..."

"My friend lied to me about pooping in the slow cooker. What a crock of shit."

"I'll be going to my friend's Halloween party as a trapped Chilean miner unable to go to a friend's Halloween party."

"Friend: [rubs my shoulder] Aw, honey, your life isn't over. It's just beginning! Me: *sobs even harder"

"How do three gay guys sit on a stool? Flip it upside down."

"I suffer from an unusual obsessive compulsive disorder, CDO I have to write acronyms in alphabetical order"

"There's no ""shame"" in ""glitter"", but there's shame and glitter on me."