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Joke of the Day

"My kid asked me where babies came from and I was like ""Dude, ask your Mom. I still can't figure out why Garfield talks and Odie doesn't."""

Next Joke
 
"Round Sheep A farmer asked me ""Can you help me round up my sheep?"" I said ""How many have you got?"" He said ""78"" I said ""we will call that 80!"""
"I almost cut my finger off cutting some celery to eat and all I could think is this never happens with cupcakes."
"What's an algebra teachers favorite animal? A grr-affe http://metalinjection.junipconcepts.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/Giraffe-Tongue-Orchestra.jpg?1fed28"
"How does a Space Marine from Warhammer 40K get fit? By doing Squats."
"What does a white trash girl say after sex? Get off me, Dad. You're squishing my smokes."
"phones are so much more than just phones nowadays, like they can also be napkins, or paper towels, or tiny depression machines, or napkins"
"I hate it when you turn up to a Klan rally and some other guy is wearing the same dress."
"Wordplay is the fundamental form of a joke... After all, doesn't every joke have a PUNchline?"
"If Liam Neeson keeps starring in the same film pretty soon he's going to be Taken 4: Granted"