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Joke of the Day

"I went for a run today. What the hell is wrong with you people why would you do this to yourself you need help."

"A study was just conducted to see what the #1 fear in humans is The results came back, and it's cats. But something seems a little off. They've only done testing on mice so far"

"My friend is a telemarketer. Sometimes, when he's relaxing, I'll call him out of the blue and piss him off."

"18 is TOO young to get married! You can't even buy booze at 18! If you can't buy booze, how the hell are you gonna make a marriage work?!?"

"What's the difference between a Chickpea and a Lentil? I wouldn't pay 200 to have a lentil on my face"

"Just saw a girl in cutoff jean shorts so unbelievable short that you could see private parts sticking out the bottom of mine."

"""Sooo sorry I fell asleep during your wedding. It was rude but your vows were like SO long. Anyway, you may now kiss the bride"""

"What is black and in jail? A black man who committed a crime."

"If someone on this sub discovers a new type of rock they should name it something funny. Amirite?"

"What did Noah tell his son while they were fishing? Better get this right, I only have 2 worms."