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Joke of the Day

"You know what the opposite of Netflix and Chill is? 9/11 and school"

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"If Jack helped you off the horse.. Would you help Jack off the horse?"
"I made a belt, entirely composed of watches It was a waist of time"
"What do outlaws eat with their milk? Crookies."
"If there's ever an apocalypse, you'll recognize me because I'll be the zombie wearing flip flops"
"How many people does it take to circumcise a whale? Foreskin divers"
"Mew and Mewtwo are both on a slanted roof. Who falls first? Neither. They can both levitate."
"the people who make lyric videos on youtube are the backbone of this nation"
"I wanted a dog. My wife wanted a cat. We had to compromise so we got a cat."
"Why do cows like being told jokes ? Because they like being amoosed !"