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Joke of the Day

"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, if they'll fit."

"Whats the difference between jam and jelly? I can't jelly my dick up your ass"

"wife: ""remember when i said you were too friendly all the time?"" me: [making cup of tea] ""no im not"" burglar: ""two sugars please"""

"Where do you get virgin wool from? Ugly sheep. "

"A joke you can only tell to a nerdy black guy. Your mom's so fat, scientist had to come up with a new name for her. A super massive black hole."

"Protestants sing every verse to every hymn. Catholics know this. We think about it when we get to the bakery 20 minutes ahead of you."

"My favourite part about amazingly hot, energetic, passionate sex. Is being able to rewind the tape & watch it again."

"I needed to get a treasure hunter's attention so I shouted ""AU!"""

"What has a bottom at the top? Your legs."

"What noise does Doppler's cat make? Meeeeeaaaaaaoooooo^oooowwww^wwww^www"