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Joke of the Day

"If anyone's hungry there's a cottage cheese sandwich in my sink I'm probably not going to eat"

"Youtube Joke Youtube is like baseball, three strikes and you're out."

"Be a firefighter they said, Rescue kittens & throw them into fire they said, Youre misinformed they said, We're calling the police they said"

"People keep telling me that I have no idea what it's like to have no roof above my head I don't think so, I really like the new Porsche convertible."

"Why Did John Lennon Get shot? Yoko Ducked"

"By the time someone says something in the meeting worth writing down, I've likely already taken my pen apart and lost the spring."

"I admire women with the restraint to draw on their eyebrows. I wouldn't be able to stop until I'd added glasses and a moustache."

"I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. When I called you stupid, I really thought you already knew.."

"What did papa butter say to troublesome son butter? You had *butter* behave now, alright son? I sure know you don't want to get *whipped*!"

"Tech support guy asked me to rank my issue as normal, urgent, or extremely urgent. I did a 6min long scream into the phone & let him decide."