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Joke of the Day

"I admire women with the restraint to draw on their eyebrows. I wouldn't be able to stop until I'd added glasses and a moustache."

"I know Mexican judo Judo know if I have a knife. Judo know if I have a gun."

"The older I get, the more my feet hurt. I guess it's true... time wounds all heels."

"I've recently started to play Dark Souls III It only took me 2 hours to beat the torturial."

"A Male teacher is asked why he enjoys working with kids He said ""i see myself in them"" Edit: He is a pedophile but no one knows it"

"What has two thumb drives full of porn and forgot his laptop was hooked up to the projector?"

"Dying in a tsunami isn't so bad... At least the earth gives you a wave goodbye."

"Why don't blind people like to go skydiving? Because it scares the shit out of the dog."

"What's the difference between a nun on her knees and a nun in the bath? One has hope in their soul, the other has soap in their hole"

"Pearl Harbour 9/11'd Josh Hartnett's career. Three disasters in seven words that make a fully coherent sentence. Can anyone do better?"