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Joke of the Day

"I admire women with the restraint to draw on their eyebrows. I wouldn't be able to stop until I'd added glasses and a moustache."

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"Who would win a battle between an orangutan and a hyena? I don't know, but we'll find out November 8, 2016."
"Squishing breasts an blasting them with radiation to cancer prevention is like... Sticking a Molotov cocktail up your butt and spraying sparks at it for prostate health."
"They should come out with a CSI Atlanta, with an all black cast. But each episode would be about finding who murdered the English language."
"What does a perverted frog say ? Rubbit"
"Have Egyptians tried unplugging and plugging Egypt?"
"My signature move is eating a whole bag of something before realizing I don't like it."
"Me:Siri, why don't I have any friends? Siri:*shows me my Google search history* M:Good call."
"What are ants called when they run away very fast to get married? Ant-elopers."
"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? TENTACLES!"