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Joke of the Day

"Just watched an Asian toddler make a fully functional iPhone out of a piece of cheese and some copper."

"A lawyer contracts a cold for two hours. What does he have? A brief case."

"Why do you call a Mexican midget a paragraph? Because he isn't a full essay"

"Don't you hate it when you punch up the fuckline?"

"Doctor: Are you on any antidepressants? Me: You mean like nachos? Yes."

"I'm suffering from bad breath You should do something about it! I did. I just sent my wife to the dentist."

"What's the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer? The taste."

"What kind of apple has a short temper? A crab apple."

"I love how people say they're ""expecting"" a baby, as though it might be something else, like a penguin."

"What runs faster? Hot or cold? Hot because everyone can catch a cold!"