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Joke of the Day
"911: What's your emergency? Me: Do you think I'm pretty"
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"What do you call a mollusc that's just short of consciousness? A Conch."
"Did you know that the Queen of England is a casual gamer? From what I hear, she mostly plays Nintendo games. So, would you call this proper use of the royal Wii?"
"The worst thing about living in the city must be cleaning all the dead parkour people out of your chimney."
"I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey. But I turned myself around."
"Rule: Grown men should not use ""lol"" in a convo with another male."
"Thank god attorneys let us know they're attorneys ""at law"" so we don't assume they're attorneys at garlic bread or something."
"A Scotsman and an Irish man walk into a bar And the Scotsman shouts ""All the drinks are on me!"" The next morning the headlines read *""Irish Ventriloquist Found Dead Behind Bar""*"
"I asked a music teacher what is sooo hard about playing a violin... she said it's kinda fiddely."
"Ever read the book ""A Race To The Bathroom""? by Willie Makeit and Betty Wont."