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Joke of the Day

"My hobbies include humming the Jurassic Park theme song to my chickens, to make them feel more in touch with their ancestors."

"*Tears off break away pants as I approach the breakfast buffet*"

"A man walks up to a taxi -How much would it cost to drive me to the center? -5 bucks -What if my wife comes as well? -Still 5 bucks. -Do you see now honey. You ARE worthless."

"What did the vegetable say to the dj? lettuce turnip the beet"

"Perhaps Charles Manson is a selfless lover. YOU don't know."

"Wait, there's a big difference. Did you say I look like THE Rock or did you say I look like A rock?"

"everyone on the saturday night live thing pronounced it sarynyelive"

"I don't even have a theory where Malaysia is."

"What was the first thing that went through the minds of the 9/11 victims? Their knees! Please comment ""No"""

"Dad I spotted a Dalmatian! No need to it already has its own spots!"