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Joke of the Day

"What possible bit about trying to buy a large number of ice cream containers and two boxes of tampons says I want to chat you up, douchebag?"

"How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm? You look for fresh prints"

"What kind of cheese do metalheads eat? BRIEEEEEEEEEEEE. I hate myself"

"Yo Mama so fat.. ..she walked past the TV and I missed 3 seasons!"

"You can learn a lot about your kids by helping them with their homework for example, mine are idiots."

"I opened a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats Prophets are through the roof"

"Russian burglar What does a Russian burglar wear? ( In a Russian accent ) robber boots"

"TIL Thesaurus is not a dinosaur"

"33, Male, Jerusalem. You?"

"How do you pick up my ex girlfriend? With a broom and a dustpan."